« isola dei famosi . sergio muniz | Main | big brother . the next editions »

September 12, 2005

martha . episode one

oh my, martha has officially returned today on about 98% of the country's tv sets. her new studio is 10,000 square feet, features no couches of any kind due to guests will be always up "doing" things and has a live studio audience passing judgement for approximately an hour mondays through friday. oh! and the backdrop of the city through windows is fake but fall to your knees lovely!

the opening shot showed reality producer mark burnett with martha that led to a lamer than lame opening show credits. ah, there's her mother in the credits, and her daughter and also her dogs.. then suddenly martha walks through double doors holding one of her dogs, free of an ankle bracelet. the camera's turn to all the producers, including mr. burnett, wearing fake ankle bracelets.

the first glimpse of the stage is jaw dropping. i'm jealous i'm not there working behind the cameras, the set is amazing. there's a cooking set up to the left side of the stage with cooks preparing a variety of foods. on the right side of the stage is a greenhouse and in the middle is the kitchen with movable islands ready for any set changes.

since the show is live, she first addresses the national crisis that was hurricane katrina and featured a video montage of a segment filmed before the chaos. i'm watched about 3 days worth of news, martha, thanks but let's move on.

her first celeb guest is one of the deseparate housewives, the one who played the brillant psycho on melrose place. we also get a premiere week glimpse at the other celeb guests including david spade.. come on! and elmo? oh martha! there's also going to be a "poncho day" and she gives us new recipies involving a fucking microwave? oh where's my snobby, always the finest things in life, martha??? i want her back!

everything's color coordinated, even marcia cross' dress! that wasn't by accident. we know you martha, you're crazy like that. her first question is "do you really think your character is based on me?" wow what a question and how does one answer it? marcia says "well, that's how they described her..." and martha says "do you really think i would ask for the basket's back?" and cue the audience laughter.

marcia brings her a present with colors that fucking match the set! faux fur apron + gloves. marcia looks at it and pretty much says to herself, "i ain't wearing that bitch". that's just the worst, bringing a gift on live television, we always get the fake 'oh i love it' reaction.

now martha has something for marcia. a shirt, blue and green tee shirts that match the gift back and what they are wearing. the shirts have a purpose, it's a tip for marcia's character. how to fold shirts without a folding board! simply amazing! of course marcia doesn't get it and everyone laughs at her. including martha.

we're now 20 minutes into the first episode and we see the studio audience get free white shirts with the martha logo on the front and a "how to" guide to fold tee shirts. next martha attempts to teach marcia and us how to make scrambled eggs.

first turn on the stove to medium. next martha asks marcia to take a bit of butter with her knife, any amount desired. but then marcia puts it in the bowl with the eggs and everyone again laughs because the butter was suppose to go into the pan. oh martha, i'm embarrassed for you. this is your new show?

we learn to take four eggs, stir it with a whisk, and then add 2 tablespoons of heavy creamy. forget the creme if you are on a diet like the housewives on tv. martha refers to the ladies on the show as "hungry", you get her drift?

martha gets "so nervous" watching the show. why? because we all know marcia's character is based solely on you? anyways, the make some very yellow scramble eggs and put them into egg shells and serve them on egg things.. i give up.

who eats scrambled eggs in an eggshell? we're americans. we don't eat caviar with eggs for breakfast? damn it martha. you're pissing me off.

next up martha drops into someone's house to see what average jane's are making for dinner. she gives them gifts of golden tomatoes in a jar and quickly passes judgement on their weeds in their backyard. the problem with martha is when she walks into someone's home, she finds everything that's wrong and nothing that is right.

it gets funny when people come over and they play games with cards, martha says "i know every card game, i got card game books in prison."

oh fuck, when martha leaves the, what i assume to be, an italian household, the entire family is waving goodbye. there's a rather beefy, football build of a man waving goodbye in a green tee. he's fucking hot, what a daddy!

now the 2 italian women on the segment come on the show wearing guess fucking what... a blue and green shirts. they make meatballs for martha. now martha is wearing the faux fur apron marcia brought her earlier. but it doesn't match anything. i'm betting a producer told her to wear it. out comes the chef's in the enclosed kitchen on the stage with samples of already prepared meatballs.

the last segment of the show focuses on the grand set for the daytime television show. the counter tops are made of marble, same as in her kitchen at home, the windows and house are urban style with a 360 view of manhattan in the backdrop. the greenhouse does not have glass and everything works including stoves and faucets.

the last shot is the crew that created the set. they all deserve the live tv tribute by martha herself. the best set. can oprah match it? her new set debuts on sept 19th when the 20th season premieres.

"thank you for watching today and we'll going to see you everyday from now on". says martha stewart.

my last thoughts: i have every right to judge her show as she has every right to judge me and how i "maintain" my daily life. with that said, watch the show, and judge for yourself. you just may like it. i personally loved her old show and i don't seem to see it on the style network anymore. i love her halloween specials. my favorite episodes.

i can't wait to see her halloween inspired episodes this new season! i fucking love how martha does october!

if you check out her official website for the show, you can find tv listings, how to get on the show, video clips, a set tour, and there's a section to EMAIL MARTHA herself!!!

i wrote one her an email regarding halloween and this was on the screen after it was sent off. "Thank you for telling Martha your story. Your submission will be distributed and read by the appropriate producer. Unfortunately, due to the high volume of submissions, the show staff cannot respond to each one individually." let's hope my question gets through!

also, found on her "get tickets" section, 2 questions asked. i told you there was a method to martha's madness...

What should I wear?
Dress your best. Audience members may appear on camera, and/or may be asked to participate in the show. No tank tops, T-shirts, sunglasses, or hats. Hint: Bright colors look best on television.

links:
martha stewart's official site
the apprentice: martha
the apprentice: martha . tv trailer
the apprentice: wednesdays, thursdays promo

Posted by guytvblog at September 12, 2005 5:56 PM

Comments

Posted by: dudester at October 11, 2005 10:38 AM