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February 23, 2006

Real World Key West . Svetlana Speaks

Today I discovered a comment left in a previous post Real World Key West . Cast Preview from a person calling herself "Svetlana".

So I started to wonder... could this actually be one of the seven strangers from the new season or mabye th is is some random girl [or boy] with way too much time [and I mean loads of free time] on their hands posing as Svetlana, speaking on her behalf to mislead me and fuck with GuyTVBlog.com.

So then the intention behind the comment began to play over and over in my head. If I was on a hit MTV reality show where the anti-fans outweigh the actual Real World fans, well, I would make the proper decision to stay away from the internet. I mean there's too many idiots like myself who are posting useless comments about people I've never met. I mean, who the fuck am I to respond or react to someone else's actions. We all know MTV loves to mislead the audience with their playful editing techniques so who am I to judge these 7 strangers...

I'll tell you who I am. I'm a fucking viewer! I live in a free country and I will rant about shit I don't know and give my three cents on all reality shows because I can. And with that said, any cast member from any reality show can respond [when maybe they shouldn't because it's most likely the entire net versus them] to what I've written here on GuyTVBlog.com.

So if this letter below is indeed from Svetlana, well then let's get into it and see what she wrote. Also, throughout the letter I address any thoughts or added rants regarding her response to my personal review of her edited profile on cable tv.

Svetlana writes: Dear Guytv ,

{Actually that's Mr. GuyTVBlog. Wouldn't want me calling you Svet or Slutlana. Wait, wait, waittt, please blame the term "slutlana" on MTV as they replay over and over that tv spot with that unknown guy renaming you in front of a national tv audience.}

For the record -- when I was talking about "getting anything out of a guy who’s in love.." I was describing [[wait, before i continue this obviously is my perspective, my opinion which is a direct reflection of me reacting to my experiences and I’m obviously stereotyping all men which i know is retarded or "special" but this could apply to any type of intimate relationship, straight or gay. however, i am not excluding men from being manipulative b/c only g-d knows my experience with that BUT i do believe that in straight relationships, the majority of men either play dumb or really are mentally incapable of thought processing in situations where there is an opportunity to compromise they're relationship. And obviously I’m referring to men who understand that cheating is wrong and are in a stereotypically "normal" relationship (i.e. a relationship where no problems arise that would be deemed a reason for the man to cheat)]] anyway, in explaining why men cannot be trusted because, any girl could get something out of a guy if she did it right, meaning that I don't trust males because even if he's a good guy...she'll get something and most likely he will really regret it but it still happened because he thought with his dick and not his heart or his brain for that matter. It wasn’t an egotistical comment although I really messed up in relaying my thought, I do that a lot, and using myself as an example was a very bad idea.

{This sounds like Svetlana to a T based on her OnDemand video profile because the girl talks a mile a minute spitting out thought over comment over rant over thought over comment. It just all comes out at once and appears like the text above.

About the whole man cheating issue, Svetlana, you're young, beautiful and still fairly new to the world of men. No lady at the young age of 20 something can say they know "men" and I'm not saying you said that but I would at least hope you look at this issue from another perspective.

The male species will always cheat, that we know. But everyone who's been involved in a relationship where cheating has been an issue, you've got to ask that one question I don't see many people asking, and that is... Why are these men cheating on their partners?

Here's the answer. I blame the relationship itself and I never blame the "other" woman/man. If a relationship between two people is healthy, enjoyable and basically happy, then one shouldn't feel the need to cheat. Maybe there's a need for a 3some involving one new person and their current partner, that's healthy because both individuals in the relationship are involved but cheating on the side without the other knowing, well that kind of thought process just isn't on a truely committed man's mind.

No one wakes up thinking to themselves while they brush their teeth, "I think I'll cheat on my partner today, maybe spice things up a bit". There's a reason why these men are cheating. Something is wrong in the relationship itself. Once cheating occurs, there is no cure for the relationship. It's dead.

If we are to believe we only live once and many seem to believe they have a limited number of years on this planet, then move on and start a new relationship instead of thinking "I can't believe I wasted X amount of years of my life with this person".}

Svetlana continues: Also, if you have big boobs—it makes sense to wear revealing shirts b/c otherwise you look like sponge-bob-square pants when your covered up. Boobs are only flattering to the body when you wear certain clothes---girls with “tigg ol biddies” I know you feel me (no offense sponge-bob, I love you). And if I don’t enjoy my youth now—when should I wear sexy clothes? When I’m 40 and people think I’m having a mid-life crisis and my skin looks like leather from tanning so much to keep up with societies stereotypical beauty (inner conflict statement—remove from memory)? Blat! (Russian word for Shit, it just sounds stronger, and if you have a lisp I just made you feel that much better about cursing! Love you too)

{I highly doubt that spongy faggot is offended. He needs to hook up with Patrick already and get it over with.

I also look forward to seeing your breasts on MTV blurred to perfection. And about that tanning thing, just fuck what society's demanding need of perfectly tanned bodies perpetuates. Just don't die at an old age draped in leather skin! Why white girls feel the need to bake is just stupid. I'm still waiting to hear from any girl a vaild reason to over tan. Anyone?

We need more self love apperication courses in school and less sex ed classes.}

Svetlana continues: Sorry about my defense mechanism spewing into your comments but I got really mad about the way I explained my trust theory because I do explain it a lot and they didn’t show it, only the part where I said it wrong (of course – g-d forbid I realize I might have been even more confusing and this was all the editing people could come up with so people didn’t turn there heads to the side like “huuuh?”)

{I understand what you mean about MTV's editing, it will forever play a major role in your lives. But then one can always say- or blame "that's not what really happen, it was the way they edited it."}

And I reconsidered fixing my shnotzer – okay maybe not—but its really %^$#& expensive – maybe ill figure out a way to deviate my septum and then it will be free --- yeay insurance policy!!!

{Please leave your nose alone. You look fine the way you are. Life is about imperfections and your unique nose your parents gave you unwillingly should be something you value. A fake face is a worthless face. Harsh words but words to admire.}

Take Care!
-Svetlana

p.s. incase you thought someone this annoying couldn’t possible exist— TA-DA!
**I'm here all week, bring friends.

{You're not annoying, but calling yourself annoying won't stop 100,000 anti-fans from calling you annoying. My advice, cause I know you wanna hear it as you've got a few more seconds to spare...

Watch out for fucked up veteren alliances when you join the next Real World vs Road Rules Challenge cast. Destroy all veteren alliances. It's bullshit that Jeremy and other participants out of the circle of drunk-frat-friendship-alliances got picked off by RW/RR bullies. I mean did you see last week's episode of the Gauntlet 2 when Rock Hard Alton chose Jeremy to fight in the Gauntlet?

How fucking fair was that? They give bullshit reasons, "it's for the team" when someone should call them out and say "no, it's to make sure the people who don't matter to you leave and your drinking buddies stay". Fuck Alton and his newly installed cunt between his rock hard, muscled thighs.

Svetlana, watch yourself against these alliances. Break that shit up in future seasons!}

If this letter proves to be a fake, then It was fun to address it. Simple as that. If it's the real Svetlana, email me some scoops about the upcoming season that I won't spoil to anyone just 'cause I love spoilers! ;o)

Posted by guytvblog at 12:28 AM | Comments (3)

February 14, 2006

Qox Populi . 02.14.06-02.20.06

Welcome to GuyTVBlog.com's newest edition to the post family, Qox Populi! Isn't it great to learn a new pop culture phrase? This creation was ripped from the MSN Encarta Dictionary's word, Vox Populi, which means "popular public opinion" or "voice of the people". Well I decided to turn the word queer [like i do most things! wink] by making you, the reader, pronance the word as "cox poppye lee". It's fun to talk dirty, teach your friends.

This is how Qox Populi will work. The post, dated every tuesday, will remain on on the front page during the week. After I watch a show or experience something pop culture related on tv, I will post about it under each month's weekly Qox Populi. Just visit GuyTVBlog.com all week to see how it works.

Tyra, Todd & Luke . On Monday's episode of the Tyra Banks Show, we gay viewers got a jaw dropping revelation. There's alot of information to take in so bare with me. The theme was ripped from the Oscar nominated drama "Brokeback Mountain" where Miss Tyra got some real gay cowboys in the studio and chatted with them about being gay in designer spurs.

In a previous post I introduced many of you to Todd Tee Tramp of GidyUp! On the Rodeo Circuit fame, well, Todd was the main guest on Tyra's Real Life Brokeback Mountain show. He appeared dressed in his cowboy attire and had show appearances by his partner and his ex fiancee! Yes, he was engaged... to a woman named Belinda! The shock doesn't end there. She knew he was "bisexual" but was in denial that he was G-A-Y.

Okay, now in that same GidyUp! documentary featuring Todd, we find out that Belinda was also in the documentary as his new student turned rodeo star. In the docu I don't believe they were really engaged or in love but had more of teacher student type relationship. We also find out through Logo.com's bio section that Belinda is a "self-proclaimed bisexual and erotic film star". Today she now thinks of Todd as her best friend and we find out that Todd was actually her best man in her recent wedding... to a man! Oh, the drama doesn't stop there.

Now during the Q&A segment, we find out Belinda had some difficulty dating men after her engagement to Todd ended. She says that since she participates in a gay rodeo there are gay men everywhere and it become hard to control who she was attracted to. Then suddenly we find out from Belinda that she is married to a "once" gay man. Wha-Wha What!?! You mean we can pick and choose sexual orientation?

Tyra demands for the husband to stand up and he does. Her husband is porn star Tony Cage aka "Luke Pisacano" from MTV True Life "I'm Getting Plastic Surgery" fame who then went for a short lived career as a gay porn star in 3 Blue Blake films. My jaw dropped in tv amazement. Well, I thought it was shocking.

Tyra sits down next to him and puts a long, big black microphone to his juicy male lips. Luke begins to speak. "My relationships that I had in my gay experiences- that were properly some of the best experiences I've had in my life- but I knew deep down inside that I was always a family man." Luke goes on to say that he was raised to have a wife and a child but physically was attracted to both men and women. Then Tyra asks him if he's still bisexual and Luke shakes his head no announcing that he's "very straight".

AND THEN he brings up the fact that his ex boyfriend is still a "very close friend of mine". He also goes on to say that "it is a lifestyle that you can not get away from" but then Tyra asks him if he still craves men to which Luke says "not at all." AND THEN dimwit Tyra turns to Belinda and says "so maybe you did turn one out girl" and Luke says that she did. What the mutha Fuck?

Show ended soon after that. For those seeking more information regarding Luke's calf implants can check out this great article fake muscle and men.

Martha's Freshly Baked Quotes . On Tuesday's episode of the Martha show, Martha Stewart had Dancing with the Stars contestant/ESPN SportsCenter Anchor Kenny Mayne as the featured guest where hilariousity ensued, at Martha's expense no doubt.

Before we begin I have to address the fact that Martha Stewart does not understand and maybe can not comphrend that the average American does not have a kitchen full of products, utensils and ingredients that she has on a daily basis. We don't have an income that allows this and if we did, most Americans would rather spend their hard earned money on other items not related to the kitchen. Oh Martha, I actually feel bad for her. Finally, I get to look down on her.

Back to the show. Kenny is Martha's helper in the kitchen while she- or they prepare Coconut Cookies with Passion Fruit Curd for us. Kenny is naturally funny and starts letting it rip. After discussion on the number of steps and tools used to prepare the treats, Kenny blurts out "Who owns all this crap at home, really?"

Martha looks at him with disgust and was actually speechless as the audience laughed along with Kenny. She then used Kenny's wife as an example of "insulting" someone on Valentine's Day because supposely Kenny's wife has a certain utensil Kenny was using that he had never seen before.

Well later Kenny then asks for Martha's advice. It seems one of his kids carved their name in their brand new furniture and Martha asked "Was she punished?" to which Kenny says that they told her to never do it again. And so Martha gave her advice. She says that she hears that Kenny's kids like to go horseback riding so she says "Get them each a horse and then they will not mar your furniture." Kenny looks at her with shock and says with a forced smile "That has nothing to do with-" but it gets drowned out by Martha pushing her point as the audience laughs.

The show goes to commercial and comes back to the horse situation that has turned into the how Kenny raises his kids situation. Martha says the reason his daughter did what she did was because she is "unhappy" and reacting to "an absence in their lives." This, of course, pisses off Kenny because when he says that his kids are very happy, Martha chimes in with a quick "no". Oh my god, who the fuck is this woman think she is? So folks, when your kids act up, get them horses. It solves everything.

In the end, Martha proves one of her points when Kenny's wife gets on the phone. It turns out Kenny's wife does have the "crap" utensil Kenny said they didn't have. A sift. But he wasn't able to tell his wife Martha's advice on horses. Bummer, that would have been fun.

Channel 912 . Tune into Channel 912 on GuyTVBlog.com every Tuesday for new media clips slash reality show entertainment. Today we have a clip from NBC's Fear Factor: Reality Stars Edition featuring Mike & Trishelle [Real World 10 & 12], Johnny Fairplay & Twila [Survivor 7 & 9], Jonathan & Victoria [ Amazing Race 6], Craig & Tana [The Apprentice 3] and other people I can't make out. Check out the Jonathan vs Joe Rogan clip.

The 2nd video features highlights from one of my favorite Cirque Du Soleil dvd's Midnight Sun. I strongly suggest you rent ths one through your NetFlix membership or just simply buy it today. Amazing collection of Cirque shows brought together for one amazing performance dvd.

Posted by guytvblog at 12:05 AM | Comments (3)

February 6, 2006

Real World Meets Big Brother

Big Brother 5's Playgirl boy Scott Long has had "moments" with The Real World: San Diego's Robin. Interesting set of pictures and Scott looks fantastic... even if his pecker is small for his size. Check out Scott's very adult photos over at Joker Updates, the one place to be when Big Brother 7 starts. Didn't Robin pose for something... oh not yet? Give it time.

I should have added one of those "Scott ----------- Robin" graphic, you know, when two names are connected by a line, similiar to what's all over the 3rd season of Showtime's The L Word. I'm not saying they slept together but it's fun when reality superstars connect.

Posted by guytvblog at 12:08 AM | Comments (2)

February 3, 2006

Fan Art . Ryu's Desolation

Posted by guytvblog at 12:34 AM

February 1, 2006

Cover Boy . Ian Somerhalder

image source . just jared

So... gettin' fired isn't always a bad thing. Ian graces the March issue of Men's Fitness boasting his new body image and thanks to Just Jared, we get a few more pictures of Ian... non shirtless. Check the newstands for the release of this issue so that you have whack off material when your wife is on the phone. Oh, I'm bad! And if you need more Ian photos, check out this fan site hosting more pics than your boyhood crush can handle.

Posted by guytvblog at 12:07 AM | Comments (3)