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February 4, 2006
Real World Key West . Cast Preview
Thanks to MTV OnDemand through Comcast cable we get a proper introduction to the new cast of The Real World: Key West. After viewing their submission videos and pre-interviews, this cast looks like the one you're going to love to hate- okay, let's not be so mean. This will be the cast you will love to "dislike" or "not agree with" or maybe "look down on". These are the 7 strangers of Key West.
Tyler . Here we find out Tyler describes himself as "conniving, good looking, have a great body, very intelligent actually." He also came out to his parents by first telling them that he wasn't gay and then told his father that he was "bi." Tyler's mother then asks him if he's questioning his sexuality to which Tyler is sent to a counseling group run by ex-gay and ex-lesbian members. These whack jobs teach us that through pray, love and forgiveness that we queers can be straight. Tyler, of course, did not graduate.
Janelle . Apparently she's now a "superstar" after being picked to be on The Real World Key West. Here we find out she prefers to date "black guys" because she stays within her race due to that fact that she's "half black". She also doesn't know any of her [limited] white friends or white co-workers' names because she just doesn't have many white friends. We then find out that she comes from an interracial family with one parent described as "hard work" and the other as "education" thus guiding Janelle into law school.
But she's only 22 years old and doesn't want to put three years of her life into a book so expect her law dream to fly right out the window for a career in MTV challenges. Janelle also announces that "yeah, I had my boobs done and I really love them. Really love them, yeah." And she doesn't think her parents will watch the show. Finally we find out that Janelle will get angry "very quickly" and "over anything". God help the white chicks in the house.
Paula . This Real World cast member informs us that she doesn't like relationships or being someone's girlfriend. She also doesn't trust other people, can be "very jealous" and compares the words "I love you" to throwing a baseball because she'll say it first, very quickly and tosses it around like nothing.
Paula also announces that she is now bisexual, thanks to a woman named Jen. "This is very, very weird and new" is how she describes being Bi. She goes on to tell us that one night she drank too much and ended up making out with Jen in the bathroom that led to hanging out that changed into best friends that then led to "real feelings" but Paula has decided that she does not want to be with a girl.
Paula's next story is that she pissed her pants one night and then walked around with piss all over her pants. Golly I want to be just like her. She also tells us that she has had an eating disorder, something she now has control over, but never really thinks anyone actually gets over the disorder. Paula also says she has a "bitch switch" that if anyone ever comes at her, she gets upset. She says it could be your hairstyle and for that reason she will start verbally attacking you. But she does say that she warns people and it's then your fault if you keep doing whatever it is you're doing that pisses her off.
John . Oh here's a fucking winner from this season's cast. John says he likes to be the center of attention to which he says most people are not too fond with. He adds that he has played sports boasting an injury in his video and that he has played... girls as well. He chuckles while he says this as if the game of "girls" is only for the big boys.
John then announces that he has been in love once where he describes it as "beautiful as it was painful." We also find out John has had one night stands and that a lot of girls don't know this but... "guys loose a lot of respect for them [girls] when they give it up on the first night". Wow, John is like the best cast member so far. They should have just cast him and named the show The Real World: John. It gets better.
John is currently single and begins to tell us a story that happens often to him while attending social gatherings i.e. parties. He says guys usually invite "certain girls" over and well, these girls end up spending the rest of the night with John and his buddies ditching the guys they came with. According to John, this doesn't "sit well" with the guys who first brought the "certain girls".
Finally, John's winning quote of his entire interview is this. "If anyone ever needs to talk, I'm there. I feel like I know so much, that I have so much information and I've experience so much that people- that I think a lot of people can benefit from things that I have to say and support and advice that I can give to people." He's only 22 years old and he has "experienced" life. Gee golly, you just wanna love him and squeeze him... until he stops breathing.
Svetlana . Okay ladies, start hatin' because according to Svetlana, there's are a lot of haters, especially girls that love to hate the people they see on tv because now Svetlana is one of those "tv people". So ladies, start hatin'.
She begins her introduction video with "Hey guys, if you think you have to be this hot to make it onto The Real World... you do." [She's right, but this statement only pertains to the last few seasons] Later we find out that she's 19 years old and was born outside of the U.S. She also has a list she presents to us as to why MTV should pick her.
1. Tig Ol' Biddies. She swears to God that they are real and that they jiggle. She also swears that her lips are real. "They [her breasts] really are a weapon and are a huge advantage. I love them, they're hot, they're cute and they're bubbly." But she hates her nose and wants to get that done.
2. Drama Queen. Apparently her 19 year old life is an "inevitable shit storm." Everything is very dramatic, she's overly sensitive, everything's a big deal turned ten times bigger, things hurt her more than it would to other people, she can't take a joke and she takes certain things more personally. Whew, that was a lot of "shit storm" to type out.
3. I love nudity. So Svetlana loves nudity! She loves seeing people naked, getting drunk and running around naked, getting people naked, being naked and everything that involves the word naked.
4. Men are my pets. She claims that no penis can be trusted. She apologizes to the men watching because they're stupid and her "pets". She can also get anything she wants from a guy, even a guy who's "so in love with his girlfriend". She can get a kiss out of that boyfriend, get his number, get him to take her number, or call her, or talk to her, or go out with her or do something that his girlfriend wouldn't want him to do with her. Svetlana's tits sure do have a massive size ego.
She's my new favorite cast member so far! Gee golly, I hope when I get the chance to squeeze her Tig Ol' Biddies that they don't POP!
Jose . Okay, Jose is just boring [so far]. Every season we get a boring cast member and this guy is it. He goes on to tell us that he went to Barnes & Nobles and read real estate books that led to him buying property and fast forward to him now owning his own house and a Camaro. Um... what else. He busted his ass to get where he's at today [who hasn't?]. He doesn't have a girlfriend and that usually girls are more into him than he is into them. Vanity issues!
Oh wait, his ex-girlfriend is one of his tenants on his many properties and they both apparently live in the same damn house. Jose calls this situation in his life that he help create as "really really complicated, really complicated". Okay, so don't laugh but now when he brings girls home he actually feels bad and doesn't want to hook up in front of his ex, you know, because she's his ex... living in the same house or property. He also tells us that he waits about a month until he has sex with a girl. We'll see if he waits a month in the house that no average cast member can afford.
Finally he doesn't date Hispanic girls because of their cultural differences. He dates interracially but doesn't or hasn't dated "black girls" but he does date white girls- I mean "American girls" is what he calls them.
Zach . Here's the heart breaking story. Zach's mother has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and he calls his parents his "best friends". He goes on to say that not enough people are doing the same thing as he is. But then again, not everyone's mother has MS and who knows what kind of son he would be if she had never had MS. He also states that he wants to be the ulimate Jerry McGuire and has played the sport of tennis for four years.
We also find out he's Jewish and that he wants to represent his people the best way he can. He also doesn't want to fit a stereotype and wants to educate people who will listen to him. He next talks about his high school days letting us know that he use to be the "puggy" kid with all girl friends. And now since he has lost the "puggy" weight he wants to have "random sexual encounters"... with girls. He's done the whole girlfriend slash relationship thing and now just wants "random sexual encounters". But he has yet to specify if they must be Jewish girls.
Well thanks MTV OnDemand for the indepth video profiles of each cast member. So what do you guys and gals think about these 7 strangers? Why not check out the official trailer for The Real World: Key West so you can pass even more judgement on these tv people picked to live in a house to battle Hurricances... and each other.
After viewing the trailer, John gives us another award winning quote to add to his "life experiences" and wealth of "advice and knowledge"... He tells someone on the phone who's just another simpleton like you and I... John says "You don't understand what the last four or five days of our lives have been like man". Is John on his way to be the new, younger Dr. Phil? Educate me John. Teach me John. Help me learn to love... again.
MTV needs to pay big bucks to have the Abercrombie building banner in New York taken down and replaced by towering size posters of Tyler & Johanna- I mean Svetlana! Tune in Feb. 28th for an all new season of The Real World: Key West.
Posted by guytvblog at February 4, 2006 12:28 AM
Comments
Hey man, thanks for posting the trailer! I can't see stuff on MTV.com cuz I have a Mac. I was wondering if you had a file of it that you could send me, and possibly, of RW: Austin too. Haha, i'm a dork and love the trailers. Thanks dude! ;P peace
Posted by: manu at February 16, 2006 11:26 PM
Dear Guytv ,
For the record -- when I was talking about "getting anything out of a guy who’s in love.." I was describing [[wait, before i continue this obviously is my perspective, my opinion which is a direct reflection of me reacting to my experiences and I’m obviously stereotyping all men which i know is retarded or "special" but this could apply to any type of intimate relationship, straight or gay. however, i am not excluding men from being manipulative b/c only g-d knows my experience with that BUT i do believe that in straight relationships, the majority of men either play dumb or really are mentally incapable of thought processing in situations where there is an opportunity to compromise they're relationship. And obviously I’m referring to men who understand that cheating is wrong and are in a stereotypically "normal" relationship (i.e. a relationship where no problems arise that would be deemed a reason for the man to cheat)]] anyway, in explaining why men cannot be trusted because, any girl could get something out of a guy if she did it right, meaning that I don't trust males because even if he's a good guy...she'll get something and most likely he will really regret it but it still happened because he thought with his dick and not his heart or his brain for that matter. It wasn’t an egotistical comment although I really messed up in relaying my thought, I do that a lot, and using myself as an example was a very bad idea.
Also, if you have big boobs—it makes sense to wear revealing shirts b/c otherwise you look like sponge-bob-square pants when your covered up. Boobs are only flattering to the body when you wear certain clothes---girls with “tigg ol biddies” I know you feel me (no offense sponge-bob, I love you). And if I don’t enjoy my youth now—when should I wear sexy clothes? When I’m 40 and people think I’m having a mid-life crisis and my skin looks like leather from tanning so much to keep up with societies stereotypical beauty (inner conflict statement—remove from memory)? Blat! (Russian word for Shit, it just sounds stronger, and if you have a lisp I just made you feel that much better about cursing! Love you too)
Sorry about my defense mechanism spewing into your comments but I got really mad about the way I explained my trust theory because I do explain it a lot and they didn’t show it, only the part where I said it wrong (of course – g-d forbid I realize I might have been even more confusing and this was all the editing people could come up with so people didn’t turn there heads to the side like “huuuh?”)
And I reconsidered fixing my shnotzer – okay maybe not—but its really %^$#& expensive – maybe ill figure out a way to deviate my septum and then it will be free --- yeay insurance policy!!!
Take Care!
-Svetlana
p.s. incase you thought someone this annoying couldn’t possible exist— TA-DA!
**I'm here all week, bring friends.
Posted by: Svetlana at February 22, 2006 3:20 PM
Jose is the best looking man to ever step foot in a Real World setting
Posted by: Mariza at March 8, 2006 2:04 PM
Great minds conjure ideas.. small minds talk about people. The genius commenting on this season's cast obviously has a great deal of time on their hands.
John is my best friend and is a fantastic person. The loving character who so eloquently writes this blog is more than likely an obese reprobate masturbating to pics of Luther Vandross and eating boxes of cheetos by the gross.
I love how you think you know every facet of John's personality based upon several cut and pasted clips Bunim Murray decided to chuck up on a screen in a fashion they see fit. With an education more than likely exceeding your own, John is as informed about actual 'real world' events as you are about wiping your ass.. well.. I don't want to give you that much credit just yet.
Vermin like you thrive on responses like this. Spin it however you want, you are filth. Nothing you say will ever fool anyone into believing otherwise. Best part is.. when you do respond, and undoubtedly you will, you are still talking about people on TV. These are people you have never met. So I laugh at you, but I pity you.
Believe me, you deserve my pity. Find something nice to say, or find a hobby. You fool noone other than yourself. Go ahead, enjoy that twinkie.. you know you want it.. mmm... deelish.
Posted by: John at March 8, 2006 10:28 PM
Well, there's a whole lot of info to get through so let's start.
"Great minds conjure ideas.. small minds talk about people. The genius commenting on this season's cast obviously has a great deal of time on their hands."
I am a genius. Thank you for addressing that. I have a good enough amount of time on my hands to write about important issues such as The Real World: Key West. It is of extreme importance that I discuss the cast. The world as it exists depends on it.
"John is my best friend and is a fantastic person. The loving character who so eloquently writes this blog is more than likely an obese reprobate masturbating to pics of Luther Vandross and eating boxes of cheetos by the gross."
It's nice to know John is your "best friend" and that he's a "fantastic person". Your humorous description of me is the exact action you're accusing me of. So I redirect this entire post directly back at you. It's like you wrote this highly dramatic comment about your own actions. Don't you realize that?
"I love how you think you know every facet of John's personality based upon several cut and pasted clips Bunim Murray decided to chuck up on a screen in a fashion they see fit. With an education more than likely exceeding your own, John is as informed about actual 'real world' events as you are about wiping your ass.. well.. I don't want to give you that much credit just yet."
I never claimed I know "every facet of John's personality", I just verbally attacked what he offered the viewing audience. I thought you were educated enough to realize that.
Every fan of The Real World understands editing is always the central target for blame when one person doesn't understand the cast member in question. But some look past the editing and at the action on the film. These cast members are making comments that people will disagree with. I disagree with John's comments and actions and I believe Bunim-Murray wouldn't have given us this false impression of John if he hadn't given them the material that they could use against him. Don't you understand that. John is to blame, not the editing.
We wouldn't be attacking each other if John didn't give them the material that I wrote about in my blog. Whether the blame goes to the editing or the person in question, well it's always going to be highly debatable.
You know I find your credential "credit" to be absolutely meaningless.
"Vermin like you thrive on responses like this. Spin it however you want, you are filth. Nothing you say will ever fool anyone into believing otherwise. Best part is.. when you do respond, and undoubtedly you will, you are still talking about people on TV. These are people you have never met. So I laugh at you, but I pity you."
I don't thrive on responses, yet again you are attempting to understand my reasoning behind my vicious post regarding the cast of The Real World: Key West.
My audience is my audience, I allow each to their opinion as they should allow me to mine. It's never going to come to an agreeable resolution as to whether my, yours or the next person's opinion should be valued over the other. An opinion is just an opinion.
If you are allowed to have your uneducated opinion about me, aren't I allowed to have my own uneducated opinion regarding the cast?
Your apparent addiction to correct an opinion is admirable. Your continued attempt to describe me is quite enjoyable and your ability to understand or maybe comphrend that the entire viewing audience shares varied [and quite similiar] one sided opinions toward John, well it's just something you're going to have to deal with for the rest of your life. Or at least until you and John are no longer friends.
Again, your last comment in the selected paragraph above is again a direct reflection on your actions, the same actions you accuse me of doing. How about you stop attacking your own character. I just want you to understand that every comment you lash out is directed right back at you. You're actually protraying traits that trump my own actions.
"Believe me, you deserve my pity. Find something nice to say, or find a hobby. You fool noone other than yourself. Go ahead, enjoy that twinkie.. you know you want it.. mmm... deelish."
Finally, you really think I deserve your pity? If so you know I'll treasure it forever.
You want me to find something nice to say? How about... Wait, I'm still thinking... I don't know if this will offend you because I am trying to be nice... But what if I say it this way... Would you... Okay I got one.
Wait, wait... Yeah... Yeah, I'm going to have to get back to you on that. I guess I just can't be nice to you at this point in time.
And how crazy is that? John's best friend is named John! I wonder how RW:KW John's other "best friends" think of you labeling yourself that coveted title.
Posted by: Mr. GuyTVBlog at March 8, 2006 11:22 PM
You're right Mariza, Jose is quite the looker. I understand he and Willie from Real World Philly are friends... What a bedroom fantasy... ;o)
Posted by: Mr. GuyTVBlog at March 8, 2006 11:25 PM
