January 8, 2007
I Love New York Mutha Fuckin Premieres Bitches!
And so the next greatest reality show debuts tonight! You can go to VH1.com right now and view the almost entire episode because the online V-Spot channel leaves you hanging as to who stays and who goes in the elimination ceremony.
If you were lucky enough Sunday morning than you would have caught the ENTIRE show aired in its entirety. I was one of those lucky few. With that said let's get started with GuyTVBlog.com's review of the first episode, minus any spoilers as to who stays and who goes in the elimination ceremony.
After the guys arrived, met Chamo, New York's gay for pay sidekick, and then met New York and then lined up to get their trademark Flavor of Love nicknames... then comes New York's mother. Every ho and her friend knows New York's mother is going to be part of this series. It's like having New York times 2.
Now when the whole Sister Patterson [New York's mother] clip package aired I felt it was pathetic how Sister Patterson thinks she has all this POWER. If you really look at the clip package everything she said or demanded didn't happen or go her way.
Later when the men were getting their names a black guy with some facial hair is given the name Pootie. He then attempts to impress New York's mom who quickly made a mega bitch comment about how she can NOT be impressed easily. Well, whatever to that 'cause about 2 mintues later Sister Patterson is going to fall for bullshit and bullshit that's stank!
The moment Heat, another contestant, mentions his family's meaning to him... well Sister Patterson is so fuckin' impressed that she gets up to hug him.
Then the fugliest bunch of them all, T-Weed, attempts to impress the mom by including her in his "get to know you" speech. Ohhh was she all over his nasty nuts! New York didn't look that much into T-Weed. From the previews a few weeks ago I thought T-Weed was the gay sidekick. Boy was I wrong!
Finally Bonez steps up to the plate and starts dropping God's name with God this and God that and bible this and holy that... And can you guess who was all over his nuts? Sister Patterson!
Another surprise in the group of men competing for New York's mega breasts- I mean heart... is Oxygen channel's Mr. Romance winner Randy Ritchwood. If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here for more information on Mr. Romance.
This season we also have a set of brothers in the house, Real & Chance. Chance appears to be the troublemaker, the loud mouth, the asshole, the "thug" and the mutha fuckin' STAR of the premiere episode and possibly the mutha fuckin' male version of New York. Expect him to make it the final 2, or so I am predicting. Already Sister Patterson is not feeling Chance and is down his throat with insults. Here's hoping New York gets in a mega bitch cat cunt fight with her dear sweet mother regarding Chance making it further in the game.
Don't worry, there's a nutjob in the group. His name is Romance and he's got a heart warming story that goes into nuttyville because the average person doesn't deal with the loss of a pet like he does. You see he lost his dog 3 weeks ago from the day the guys moved in, he's super sensitive in front of the cameras thus he's edited to look like a nutjob. I do feel for him, I know I will be a wreck if something happens to someone I love. Let's hope he pulls it together and gets the normal edit treatment..
Mr. Boston is the most annoying contestant of them all. His voice has this high pitch unsexy dweeb pitch to it. So what does he do with that voice of his, he get in a mutha fuckin' verbal one sided fight with Chance, the smartest "thug" of the group. You see Chance is smart enough to get New York on a one on one chat first. Mr. Boston sees this and tries to destroy all that love connection Chance is creating. Later we also find out Mr. Boston has a twin. That means his voice can be multiplied by 2! My ears are bleeding.
T-Bone is the contestant that will make you turn you mutha fuckin head the other way when his mugshot appears on the TV. Nuh-uh, I ain't watching him. Get him out of the house! As for Heat, he's full of himself, period. Now I can see why Sister Patterson is into him.
Wait a mutha fuckin' minute- Sister Patterson is doing the grunt work for us! She's going around asking everyone if they are gay. Of course everyone says no but 12 Pack, a beefy contestant, is causing Sister Patterson's gaydar to explode. 12 Pack does admit to being in situations where he could have done things with other guys but somehow, for some reason, denied the chance for homosexual encounters. Yeah, whatever, I suspect he at least got blown from a gay guy. Where is that lucky gay guy? Where are you?
As the premiere episode continues we find out Rico, the gorgeous latin of the group, fucks up during the meet and greet outside and should be renamed Mr. Fuck Up. The reason being is he wanted to give New York a latin nickname and once she heard the english translation of his latin nickname she flipped the fuck out and redefined the translation as him calling her the N-word. It takes Chamo, the gay for pay sidekick of New York, to calm New York down and to better explain where Rico is coming from. Will he be spared at the elimination ceremony? Tune in to find out!
Later Token, the other white boy meat who Sister Patterson adores, becomes the tattle tail of the group and gets on the mom's good side by telling her that some of the guys here are "actors" and trying to fight for "camera time". I don't heart Token.
Now the best moment of the premiere episode comes near the end when Chance gets smoke blown in his face by Sister Patterson. He flips the fuck out, she flips the fuck out and demands that he leave and he won't and suddenly my VH1 viewing experience just gets that much better. This dramatic moment has just put Chance on an even higher romantic level with New York because we all know daughters love to piss off their mothers by dating guys they don't approve of.
Oh and let me rant about this next item. The mutha fuckin' amount of smoke New York and Sister Patterson puff puff and don't give give is down right nasty. I feel sorry for the camera men and non smoking contestants who have a huge chance of getting that 2nd hand smoke cancer thing. Someone send New York a big ol' patch kit.
After all the drama comes the elimination ceremony and five guys will be going home. Suddenly we see gold necklaces in a black case that have the logo "I Love New York" in gold. Sister Patterson is also there to help with the handing out process of the bling bling salvation jewelry. At least her mouth is there to help.
Now I said I wasn't going to spoil the ending and I won't. Hmmm, there's some shouting going on in the final few minutes. Why... watch and find out! Monday night on VH1!
Check out the series finale reunion show GuyTVBlog.com update now. CLICK HERE!
Posted by guytvblog at January 8, 2007 12:10 AM
i am pissed i missed that oh well
Posted by: biatchhh at January 8, 2007 2:02 AM
yea i know i am a freak i stalk your blog every 5 secs for update so dont ever stop updating if you know whats good for you, haha just kidding i disagree i think mr boston is hottttt and he has great potential
Posted by: biatchhh at January 8, 2007 4:31 AM
This show is hilarious, Wow!! What people!! Lovin' New York is a full time job!! What a star!! These stud muffins have there moments but NY's mother is too much trash. And her whole Chance smoke in the face episode was great stuff!! Chance is kooky and mean, he will not win our NY's golden heart!! Token's fun and Romance is like something from another time, anoter FACE!!!
All the Vhi elements, of course, yelling, nasty comments, its all here.
The best of VH1's sorry stuff, New York shines above all the So dramtic junk.
Posted by: Mike C at January 8, 2007 10:19 AM
I can't wait to watch it tonight. Glad you didn't spoil the end for me, but your coverage made me want to watch it more. I love that crazy bitch New York. I loved her when she beat down pumkin and when she droev the others crazy on part 2. great work will be back
Posted by: ousslander at January 8, 2007 8:16 PM
JANICE!! I knew she looked like some sort of muppet! It was driving me crazy!
Posted by: Chad at January 9, 2007 6:17 PM
chance is so cute!!!! i would love to go out with him!!! but he to old for me :(. well i don't care he still cite and he still mine
Posted by: tima aka babygirl at January 13, 2007 11:16 PM
only thing ii can say is how GOOD-LOOKING CHANCE IS. at the moment i SAW HiM, i KNEW he would WIN New Yorks Heart. because This is his TRUE character....
1. VERY sweet
2. a TRUE Thug
3. sex is NOT on his mind i kno tht because he Absolutley let New York KNOW that he JUST wanted to TALK to her...
4. KNOWS how to Dress ReaL Fresh
5. Feels Like New Yorks MOMz Dukes MIGHT become the reason WHY they Dont get Closer later on in the Show
esides that, JUST watch it... this MAY be interesting to a LOT of people =)
Posted by: adrienne at January 14, 2007 5:57 PM
New York DOES look like Janice from the muppet show!!! Hahahahaha! It blows my mind to see dudes lining up for NY. Didn't they see "Flava of Love? Girlfriendz a craaazy biatch!
Most entertaining gutter entertainment 'round-niiiice!
Posted by: boo at January 16, 2007 10:42 AM
Is it me or is New York just Gary Coleman in drag?
Posted by: Tootie at January 25, 2007 10:03 AM
NEW YORK IS JUST DOWN RIGHT UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: CAROL at January 30, 2007 3:37 PM
Wow, this show is such a trip. It does however keep me watching. I mean who doesn't enjoy a good train wreak. One thing I have noticed is that New york is so fraudulent she tries to be sincere but it is pretty obvious that she is just playing a role. She is overly dramatic. I just find it hard to believe that she could love anyone. She is heartless. It is also disurbing when she starts moaning and acts like she is about to have an orgasim. What class!! She might be bipolar and should probaby not drink like it is her second full time job. Finally, the shirt that she wears when giving the commentary ( you know the black lace halter where her boobs are bulging from the top, thanks to Victorias Secret) makes me sick everytime I see it. You can see her "pimp juice" tattoo on her boob. GROSS and not only that but she wears a plastic strap bra underneath a halter??? WTF I am sorry but that is so tacky.
Posted by: melody at March 8, 2007 3:48 PM
Yes New York is sooo ugly she looks just like her ugly ass fake ass mother. I mean look at her,she got a big ass mouth that matches her big ass fohead and to top it all off she wears a hair weave that looks fucked up ALL OF THE TIME.And that just sums up her mother. I wonder where her dad went to? I hope he had sense enough to get the hell away from the both of them while he was still sane. And as for New York if she was going to pick all of those ugly men to be on her show she could have just called Flav and begged him to fuck her again.
Posted by: Autoria Ruffin at March 9, 2007 6:35 PM
I WAS OUTRAGED BY THE USE OF THE TERM "WHITE BOY". IT IS JUST AS DEMEANING, INSULTING AND RACIST AS ANY OTHER MINORITY "POLITICALLY INCORRECT" TERM THAT MINORITIES HAVE MADE IMPOSSIBLE TO USE, UNLESS OF COURSE THEY CALL EACH OTHER THESE NAMES.
I THINK VH1 HAS A RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT PROMOTE RACISM IN ANY FORM. THIS CAN BE DONE BY SHOWING FAIRNESS IN THEIR ACTIONS CONCERNING ALL RACES, INCLUDING THE MUCH MISTREATED WHITE RACE.
Posted by: Nicki Keene at March 14, 2007 8:25 AM
Why in the hell did she get rid of white boy he was da only sexy real man she had left.Dont get me wrong i love Real & Chance but I just think White Boy was there 4 more than just braggiin rights and TV
Posted by: Autoria at March 15, 2007 10:22 PM
I truely hope you find your true love instead of some guy just wanting your money belive me you need a vacation and enjoy your own wealth time in life when your at your age and so good looking enjoy it, I am 33 years old and I rember being on top at the Brothals in Reno Neveda and I had everything money men seeeexxxxxxxxxx and all the partying I ever wanted no these days I am a fat single and poor. Please do not ever become fat trust me its awful and I dont want you to get brunt out on the men please save your self in this world do not go to religous or to vain enjoy your life and dont waste your money on chairtys because there are others that can help enjoy your mom cause someday heaven forbid the day we stand alone continue you t.v. fun and if I may say please enjoy six pack guy he should be fun for awhile you need a body guard. your to pretty and need to be safe. your friend Amber Jackson
Posted by: Amber Jackson at March 16, 2007 2:47 PM
i hope you find true love i hope you pick chance and man my moma wanta find out where real live she like him i thought you was gonna keep real he was the finest 1in the whole group and then chance
Posted by: dedwe at March 31, 2007 9:03 PM
CHANCE is the BAEST LOOKING )#% ON THAT SHOW AND IF NAW YORK DONT PICK HIM SHES A FOOL NO AFFENCE NAW YORK
Posted by: tia at April 2, 2007 8:06 PM