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April 28, 2008
Big Brother 9 | Adam Wins With 6-1 Vote During A Very Weak Season Finale. James Still Wins Thanks To Allison Grodner
The finale episode starts with a far too long look back at what happened during the season. Just say Adam and Ryan are final fucking 2, show a bunch of quick edits and then just start the fucking show, it shouldn't take no more than 30 or so seconds to do this. Let's get on with the reunion.
In the audience we see Janelle [Queen of Big Brother USA], Eric [BB8 Douche Bag], Bunky [Boring ol' Bunky who should really turn into a muscled daddy], Erika [who was with her boyfriend Adam who appeared on the Cook Islands season] and surprisingly Amber [Jew LOVING Top Model] from last season! What the fuck was she doing there? But at least she looks super happy to be there.Oh yeah, Dick and Daniele were also at the finale because they too have nothing else going for them other than Big Brother.
As the show starts we see the Jury arrive in their outdoor set and of course Matt still looks dreamy dressed up while Natalie's tits are as big as ever in her cleavage revealing sweater thing. Sheila arrives as Joshuah talks how Sheila can not even get herself out of a wet paper bag! Funny man but still an asshole.
Sheila arrives on the set and gives James this big hug for some reason. Joshuah, who's talking alot, has this weird voice that comes out when he's "performing" on camera, very similiar to Eric's weird TV voice when he hosted competitions last year and this year. They all pretty much agree that Adam played a better game even though they try to get Ryan some props. Natalie even goes as far to talk about Ryan being this year's "most scandalous player"! This coming from the BLOW JOB QUEEN!
Back in the live audience Janelle and a female friend held up a sign that said "Cooking Up A Win" showcasing a shirtless Ryan. I guess she was hoping for a Ryan win like I was.
Fast Forward to the live voting by the jury. Matt is up first and makes a comment about "one of you is taking to me Vegas". Oh Matt, as selfish as ever. Natalie is next. She tells both the boys that she still "loves" them even though they voted her out. She votes with her "gut instinct". Joshuah is third and makes some stabs at Adam without saying his name by voting for the one who had a "backbone" in this game.
Sharon is fourth and she gives the boys a big "hello". She bases her vote on who was the most "loyal" in the game. Sheila is fifth and talks about her vote was an "easy decision". Of course Sheila has trouble putting her key in and takes the longest in EVERYTHING SHE DOES. James is sixth and says "I hope you party away this money man" and this stupid statement gets a loud crowd applause. Chelsia is last to vote and I could give a shit what she says.
Later the first six housguests to be evicted: Jacob, Parker, Jen, Allison, Amanda and Alex all are already on stage ready to talk about whatever Julie asks them. Neil, the other gay houseguest this season who exited the game for family reasons, is NOT part of the cast this year and has been forgotten all about by CBS and Allison Grodner. For some reason I expect Neil to be part of the season 10 cast... I guess we'll have to see about that.
Oh now this is funny. Julie Chen makes a comment about how "good" it is to "see everyone back together" except that Neil isn't part of this family anymore. Like I said, I think he's been excluded from this cast because he may be part of Season 10's cast. I hope so!
As the grilling starts Natalie is first approached by Julie about her boring ass "playing both sides" of the house and everyone is guilty of that, EVERYONE, not just Natalie. Now Julie puts Matt in an awkward position about how what he said about Natalie when Natalie gets home and watches the "tapes". Natalie says she's heard a few things and says something about Karma and that's why Matt left early. This got a good crowd reaction. Matt does apologize in advance for whatever Natalie is "about to see" when she gets home.
Also during the reaction to Natalie talking about Matt's eviction being about Karma Amanda yells out "YEAH MATTY!" in reference that he got what he deserved and Matt gives Amanda a questionable face as to why she would say that. She doesn't answer him of course.
Finally Julie questions the first evicted houseguests. Jen makes sure we all know she still "doesn't care for" Allison. Allison now tries to be the better person by talking nice shit on Jen and Ryan but then starts to bring up about how Jen tried to "sabatoge" her boyfriend's game and by calling him "THAT NAME" on national television.
Julie now goes to Ryan and pathetically reveals to Ryan how Adam did mouth to Natalie during her eviction that he voted for her to stay and then showed Adam how Joshuah pathetically faked cry to Adam before his eviction. And that's it. Nothing for Amanda, Alex, Jacob, Chelsia, James, Sharon, Joshuah, Sheila or Parker. PATHETIC! Why even have a reunion if you don't plan on addressing everyone who showed the fuck up!
Now comes the BULLSHIT last stunt from Allison Grodner and how she WILL MAKE SURE HER DREAM MAN JAMES wins something in this fucking season. Last year they didn't do this because Grodner got her final 2 that she wanted and the year before she wanted fans to make sure Janelle got some money and so since James didn't make it the final 2 this year this BITCH made sure that "America voted" for their "favorite jury member" to be awarded 25,000 fucking dollars.
It seems the actual live voting on CBS.com was crashing, the voting button didn't work properly and the page froze far too many times than it should. Later it is revealed that Sheila came in 2nd in the vote and James won the 25,000 dollars, apparently given by Allison Grodner, I'm assuming from her manly wallet, to make sure James walks away with something. James was excited as fuck to waste this money away, I'm sure of it.
As the live reveal of the votes start we can see Janelle's friends excitedly grab her thigh that the REVEAL of the winner is about to begin. Janelle is estatic as fuck to see who wins. Now comes the votes.
Matt votes for Adam. Matt's bitch Natalie votes for Adam. Joshuah votes for Ryan. Sharon votes for Adam. The facial reaction on Adam is apparent that even he knows he won because James and Sheila's votes have yet to be revealed and he knows RIGHT THEN AND THERE that he fucking won.
Sheila's vote is next and she voted for Adam to win. That's it, all it takes is four votes and Adam wins. It's funny how Sheila's vote was just pulled at the right time to reveal Adam was the winner, a gentle stab from Allison Grodner that her "couple twist" was the greatest idea in the world and how it WORKED because of Sheila's vote that Adam won. But then we find out that James and Chelsia also voted for Adam to win. Ryan only got one damn vote. Pathetic but Adam is most deserving.
And then it gets strange. Adam comes out of the house with Ryan and for some ODD REASON Jacob comes running up the walkway to jump into Adam's arms and hugs him, Adam lifting Jacob entirely off the ground. Um.. what? Then Alex soon follows down the walkway and the rest follow giving the cameras no real shot of Adam being congratulated by his houseguests. He's buried in bad editing and no crowd direction.
At one point Sheila and James hug the shit out of Adam and then Adam's hunky brother hugs him hard right after. Awwwww! Then after the commerical break we get Julie standing with both winners and Jen. She tells Adam to do some "good" with the money and Adam announces like an idiot that he's going to give the Autism foundation 100,000 dollars unaware that he's been fired from his job and they want nothing to do with him... but they do want his money, I'm sure of it.
At this point is when they actually revealed America's Favorite Fucking Douche Bag Jury Member and Adam is quick to point out James is the winner. When Julie Chen announced that Sheila came in 2nd we hear a few "ahhh's" in the audience but then she pulls out the "winner" from the sealed envelope and Adam sees the name first shouting "YES" looking in James' way.
Here's where it gets funny. James throws his arms up in the arm in celebration as Chelsia tries to hug him but HE'S NOT HAVING IT and moves away from her to hug Adam. Julie smiles and tells them to settle down as she finishes her job announcing season 10 starts on July 13th. As the end credits roll Adam rushes to this family in the audience hugging his hunky brother again and his mom. He goes back into the houseguest crowd as Amanda works her way to Adam's brother to give him a hug. Joshuah waddles around as everyone else hugs and finally he gets a hug from Ryan. Awww! Joshuah also gets a kiss on the cheek by Sharon.
Also in the mix Amanda hugs Sharon and Sharon SCREAMS HER HEAD OFF as she twists Amanda around. What the fuck is up with that? Sheila gets her hug from Alex twice back to back and she nearly looses her balance at one point. Forget bitch he wants someone his own age aka Daniele, not you. Dick doesn't want you either, he wants Janelle who wants nothing to do with his old 80 year old lookin ass.
One scary hug in the mix of houseguests comes from Allison forcing a hug on Jen. I'm sure Allison made some scary fucking comment to Jen about Ryan... or maybe she really has turned over a new unbitter leaf in their fucked up friendship or lack thereof. And that's it! Big Brother 9 is officialy over!
Oh SNAP! Big Brother 9's website states in the right hand corner "We'll be back in July with season 10 of Big Brother. Be prepared for all new twists and turns and even more bells and whistles on the website!" Ahhhhhh SHIT, more "twists" and now apparently there will be "turns" as well! Oh my!
Posted by guytvblog at April 28, 2008 12:50 AM